There's more to recovery than "tough love" and rock bottom.

I was obsessed with my partner’s drinking.

Not in a casual way.
In a heart-pounding, can’t-sleep, always-watching way.

I was constantly trying to fix it, catch it, control it, convince him to stop.
I tracked bottles. I monitored moods. I rehearsed conversations.
I lived in a permanent state of vigilance.

I tried therapy.
I tried Al-Anon.
I tried podcasts, books, mantras, prayers.

And none of it touched the panic I felt living with a partner in active addiction.

Everyone told me the same thing:

“You have to detach.”
“You can’t care more than they do.”
“Let them hit rock bottom.”

But here’s the problem.

Even when I tried to detach, I was still furious.
Still terrified.
Still bracing for the worst-case scenario.

Because detaching from the person you love doesn’t create peace.
It creates fear with nowhere to go.

What Project Influence Gives You in Just 7 Days

This isn’t about learning more information.
It’s about changing the dynamic you’re living inside.

In Project Influence, you will: 

• See exactly how your current efforts are backfiring
  Not in a shame-based way — but with clarity. You’ll finally understand why “trying harder” has been making things worse, and what to do instead.

• Get honest about how you actually feel — without letting those emotions run the show
  Fear, anger, resentment, exhaustion. You’ll learn how these states shape your behavior and influence the relationship, and you'll get the next steps to shift them.

• Stop reacting and start stabilizing the relationship
  Learn how to show up in ways that lower tension, reduce escalation, and interrupt the chaos cycle.

• Design new ways of connecting that don’t trigger power struggles
  No scripts. No manipulation. Just grounded shifts in how you engage that create more safety and openness.

• Become a positive influence — even if they’re not ready to change yet
  Your presence becomes calmer, clearer, and harder to push against. That alone changes the system.

By the end of 7 days, you’ll have clarity.

You’ll know which behaviors are escalating the situation — and which ones actually help.
You’ll stop guessing.
You’ll stop spinning.

And you’ll have a clear way to show up that doesn’t make things worse.

What Project Influence Is (and Isn’t)

Project Influence is a 7-day course for loved ones of people in addiction who want to stop reinforcing the problem and start influencing the dynamic in a healthier direction.

It shows you:

• how you’re currently showing up

• where your efforts are unintentionally backfiring

• and what to do differently so your presence becomes stabilizing instead of reactive

This is not about fixing them.
It’s about changing how the relationship functions — starting with you.

What Project Influence IS

• A short, focused process that creates clarity fast

• A way to take responsibility for your role without taking blame

• A practical reset in how you think, feel, and show up in the relationship

• A foundation for influence that doesn’t rely on pressure, ultimatums, or detachment

What Project Influence is NOT

• Not therapy

• Not Al-Anon or a 12-step program

• Not “detach with love” repackaged

• Not communication scripts or behavior hacks

• Not a program that requires them to be ready, willing, or sober first

This is about you changing the part of the system you actually control.

Who This Is For

Project Influence is for you if:

• You’re exhausted from trying everything and still feel stuck

• You know your reactions aren’t helping, but don’t know what to do instead

• You’re willing to look honestly at your role in the dynamic

• You want to reduce chaos, tension, and power struggles — now, not someday

• You want to influence change without abandoning yourself or the relationship

Who This Is NOT For

This course is not a fit if:

• You want someone else to change so you don’t have to

• You’re looking for advice on how to control, threaten, or manipulate them into recovery

• You want reassurance that everything you’re already doing is right, and that you don't have to change

• You’re in immediate physical danger and need crisis-level intervention first